It’s 2018. It’s time the paperless office finally arrived and I’m not a bloody corporate clone so I no longer maintain a resume.
Yeah, I know – shock, horror!
And to be honest: I’m sick of being spammed by recruiters who don’t actually take the time to “network” with me.
So no more Word documents to choke up recruitment databases – sorry. And no more LinkedIn profile you can shotgun with impersonal bulk messages.
If you want me then you need to come to this site to see while I’m about, what I’ve done, and what I’m doing. And I guarantee this site updates daily – whether it’s a blog post (or 3), project information, or some sort of functional update.
Do you have a role for me?
I’m reluctant to change day jobs at the moment (March 2018), mainly because:
- Technical interviewing is a pain in the ass nowadays dealing with juniors-developers-with-senior-title interviewing who think they know everything.
- I’m earning enough in a comfortable position to pay for my night job.
But if you are interested in me then my minimum requirements are:
- A good salary (AUD$140K+).
- Very flexible work conditions (particularly if you’re not within 30 minutes bike ride of my home).
- A lead/management role.
- And that doesn’t mean:
- 80% coding for a lead role, which most roles incorrectly seem to require.
- Overtime, which means some else is not doing their job, or naively expects too much of me.
- It does mean:
- 80%+ managing people and working with business.
- A standard workday, and if the pressure is on then someone else has fucked up and I will work with whomever I need to help rectify the situation.
- And that doesn’t mean:
You will get is someone who:
- Love what he does.
- Wants to make money, help people, and be good doing it.
- Is committed to his team, and will protect them.
- Gives an estimate with a minimum 2.75x rounding to make it realistic.
- Says “no”, and doesn’t always have a good reason why at first (if you push me you’ll get “because, experience” or “because I said so”).
- Swears like a trooper at the computer (never people!) if compounding stupidity and failure frustrates him.
- Sucks at jokes and stories but tries his best to tell them (my dad jokes are of the worst variety).
- Has a single goal in life: to make people smile (laughter is even better).
- Wears short sleeve shirts/polo. Sports jacket sometimes. No tie. And don’t even fucking ask about a suit.
- Rocks up in cycling gear and works like that for the first 15 minutes as he cools down.
- And if you have a go at me about my hours or work ethic I’ll [linguistically] tear your fucking throat out for the insult.
If you’re still interested in talking to me about a role then please send me a message at email@example.com – please make sure you personalise it so I actually read it and don’t think it’s a “shotgun message” from a recruiter (tip: mention you read my website) – and let me know:
- Your best contact details and times.
- Real expectations of the role.
I will certainly get in touch with you as soon as possible. I prefer talking in person or a video call.